A Foodie's Fury: The Tonga Room

As a self-proclaimed foodie, I have to lay the smack down on undeserving restaurants that masquerade themselves to be high end culinary establishments. So today’s recipient of this foodie’s fury is the Tunga Room located in the Fairmont Hotel in San Francisco, California. So how did I end up here in the first place. Well, it was a friend’s birthday and it was recommended to her as a upbeat, fun asian-fusion restaurant. Originally, I have always been weary of restaurants in hotels however Scala’s Bistro and a multitude of Vegas restaurants have tag teamed to help slowly change that opinion.

And all that hard work was lost in one sitting.

So as you enter the Tunga Room in Fairmont, you are welcomed to a very Vegas like setting, where the tables are set up around the lake and everything is decorated in a pirate, swap the poop-deck, décor. There was also a live band in the middle of man made lake with the live band playing old cover songs that set the tone that this would be a fun, kareoke bar level of fun type of place. There seemed to be some promise. They lied to us.

God… where to begin? How about in chronological order.

The drinks were overpriced and over-iced.

The appetizers were mediocre at best. Their Tonga Island PuPu Platter, a mere $19 dollars was an assortment of poorly done hot wings, over-cook ribs, barely edible spring rolls, prawns that live up to their name and over-starched dumplings.

If that wasn’t a killer, the entrée’s were the nail in the coffin. We ordered "The Chef's Special: Tonga's Triple Delicacy" for $26
which was "Shrimp, Beef and Chicken with Broccoli and Straw Mushroom in Black Bean Sauce." Sounds pretty good right? Heh... what it came down to was overpriced and underachieving chinese food that you normally would find in any Joe Chang's restuarant masquerading around as high class asian fusion just because it was served on a nice looking plate. It kills me that even the $5.95 version you get at every other Chinese restuarant is at least 832% better.. For Christ's sake, it was a Chef's specialty... and it sucked... Which leads me to ask, if this was the Chef’s specialty… what does he specdialize in?

Did I mention it was Chinese food!? Chinese food that you find on nearly every corner of American society. Panda Express, Pick-Up Stix, Mr Chau's. But Ragz... didn't you say it was a pirate like Carabbean atmosphere..? Yes, I did. However my suspicions about it being run of the mill Chinese food were confirmed once the fortune cookies came out.

To add insult upon injury, You have to pay $3 a bowl for rice. (Who pays for rice!?) Oh, and I can not fail to mention the kick the nuts when you already on the ground when they give you when they charge you for the entertainment fee that should have been already included in the high price of the crappy food.

Summary: You pay up to 5 times the cost of normal Chinese food.

Random Self Q&A: How the hell do they stay open!? Well, it's location and decor, it looks nice when you first walk in and it's in a well known hotel so the constant circulation of suckers, I mean tourists, keeps it open.

Link: Sorry, I refuse to link anyone to this place. I guess it's my way of making the world a better place.