Farewell Mr. Sanborn

Dear Mr. Sanborn,

When I first met you, my first impression of you was that you talk too much. Now that you are leaving, I still think you talk too much. The difference now is that I know how to listen to you. And besides the occasional meeting that you walk into knowing nothing about, there is a great message that you always tried to communicate. I'm thankful and blessed to have heard it.

So what is it that I heard you ask? Well, the first is actually more what you did rather than what you said. You empowered people through your faith and your trust. I have grown so much because you put me in a position where I had to be more than I was. I truly hope my performance was at the very least, satisfactory.

You also made me realize the importance of being to paint a story through presentation. Your words, your incredible knowledge and how cultured you are always made everyone and everything more than what it was. I will always be in awe of your conversational prowess and will strive to be more like that. If I'm lucky, maybe I'll be half as articulate as you.

Finally, the dedication you had to the company, the project and especially the people, and how you always took the road less traveled in hopes of bringing them all together, is truly awesome. I read a long time ago that "if you try to please everybody, you will please nobody." Working with you, I have to make an adjustment to that quote:

Do everything in your power to bring everyone together, and if things aren't perfect in the end, rest easy knowing that you nearly accomplished the impossible.

With deepest gratitude,
John L. Tso

Ragz 2 Richez: Justin Lo

We all used to be nobodies. Maybe we still are. Enter Justin Lo (or J-Lo as we used to fondly call him). just a GUI (graphic user interface) designer at Yahoo! who played bball with us on the weekdays and got piss drunk with us on the weekends. Like all of us, he had his dreams and one day, he just got up and left to go back to Hong Kong to be in the music industry.

Two of my old Yahoo! buddies, Chew and Kwokker, recently went to Hong Kong and when they got there, they looked up at the billboards, the magazines and the TV and just looked at each other with the same question on their minds... is that Justin? Ya... that's J-Lo, the biggest pop star in Hong Kong right now. He making movies, endorsing stuff and most importantly, living.

I love stories like this because it inspires you to be better. It rekindles the fire that life so cruelly stamped out over the years. And Just maybe, it might give you the strength to follow your heart and chase your dreams again.

Forget the reality checks, fear of disapproval, and the possibility of failure. Rather, ask yourself, are you really living if you are living it in fear? If anything... fear mediocrity. Fear not reaching your potential. Fear the thought that you are wasting your life.

BTW, if you are wondering, this is what living looks like J-Lo Style:

Singing in the Rain

At any time from around 8:30am you can find me on the road just singing it up on 680 on my way to work. I sing at my cube. I sing in the shower, I pretty much sing and dance everywhere. I love it. It makes me feel better about life. Now my roommate thinks i'm an ok singer and unfortunately I have to agree even though I get all defensive about it. Which is why I think American Idol is so believable because the next moment, I'm trying to sing to prove to him I can. Ok, ok, so I'll never make a dime from singing, but, sometimes and at least for a few songs, I'd like to think I can hang.

Now you won't ever find me on American Idol. Mainly because I know what real singers sound like and I don't sound like them. The control, pitch and power that these people possess when it comes to their voices is just absolutely amazing. So why sing if I'm just mediocre? Why sing if my roommate feels dirty everytime I playfully serenade him. Why not, practice Chinese or Spanish in the car when I'm driving to work? Why not recite famous speeches when I'm cooking or showering? Well, speeches are boring and albiet, practicing another language would most certainly make me feel much more accomplished, singing just makes me feel good. And if that isn't reason enough, I realized another last night.

A friend was feeling a little bummed out yesterday and she catches me singing in the webcam all the time so she asked me to sing to her. So I sang a little for her. God, I was nervous but I managed to get through it and afterwards... I felt terribly embarrased. But she loved it.

What I realized was this: I would do anything for my friends and if embarrassing my ass makes them feel better just a little better, then I'll pretend that I'm Brian Mcknight.

Random Thoughts: New Movie Roles

There are tons of actors who play niche roles. John Corbett has the perfect boyfriend role pretty much locked up. Matthew Perry has the best friend that could be possibly gay role nailed. And Will Smith has got the black guy thing going on.

Enter James Marsden or perhaps better known as Cyclops from the X-Men trilogy. He's carved out quite a nice spot for himself in the movie world and he and only he can pull it off. It's the really-good-guy-who-loses-his-hot-babe-to-a-superhero-role and he is just milking it. I mean, after his performances across the X-Men trilogy as Cyclops, Jean Grey's boyfriend, and just recently in Superman as Lois Lane's fianc'ee, I'm convinced that no one else but him can pull it off.

After getting screwed over by Wolverine and then by Superman, you really can't have another guy just step in. At this point, you look forward to him getting screwed over and over again in a way that only he can do. You know, in the "Wow, this is a total suprise to me because I've been so good to you but I understand" kind of way. I'm totally looking forward to him losing his girl in the future installments of Batman, Spiderman and Catwoman now that DC Comics has made her a lesbian. That last one would be off the hook.

Here are some other uber-niche roles that I've identified:
- Asian-guy-who-doesn't-know-kung-fu-role-and-speaks-english-perfectly-role
- Really-good-girl-friend-who-does-nothing-wrong-but-still-gets-dumped-for-the-sassy-unpredictable-girl-who-makes-the-boyfriend-feel-alive-role
- Guy-who-makes-a-really-good-first-impression-at-the-beginning-of-the-movie-but-dies-within-the-first-ten-minutes-role

Random Thoughts: Sixty-Six Percent

I was having a conversation with a friend and the subject of passion in a relationship came up (or rather the lack of). It came up that all marriages end up being more like life partnerships and less about the romance. OK, so I agree with the life partnership thing. But I have to strongly disagree with the no romance (less prevalent romance) part.

For me, I can not marry someone who isn’t the zest of my life. I can not live without moments where I’m just hanging out with the woman of my life and the next moment we’re all over each other. How did it happen..? Who knows? Who cares? But to have the x-factor missing in my marriage is something I can not live without. What’s the point of getting married if there isn’t any passion? I mean, it’s only one of three things that are exclusive to the sacred union.

Building a home, building a family and romance are the three things that are exclusive to marriage. Everything else you can get elsewhere. And to tell me that I’m going to be missing one-third of what make’s my marriage so wonderful is something that I can't live with. You're pretty much saying that my relationship is 66% of what it could be.

Fuck that.

Life Matters: Fighting for Life

My pastor says that "death is merely the absence of life." I have moments of this living sensation here and there however I do have to admit, I feel dead much more often now. The breakup has left me feeling empty and I hate this floating sensation. Like, I'm in limbo.

I play some bball in the GrX league now and our last game of the season was an important one. If we win, we go to the playoffs. If we lose, end of the season. I'll be the first to admit that I've been playing mediocre for most of the season. Getting used to the refs and getting my wind back has been a season long ordeal. I've had moments of brilliance here and there but there were short lived and I've yet to put my stamp on any game.

Well, that all changed. Not because I played incredible or anything but for something else. The teams were allowed to bring on walk-ons today and our team picked up Eugene Son who can absolutely stroke the ball and the other team brought on a black dude who looked solid. The game starts are we get off to a big lead right away. My scoring totally has picked up recently however I have to admit, having Eugene on the team totally stretches the court. The bottomline is that it was a lot easier to get to the rim. In any case, with Eugene helping with the offensive load, I was totally able to do what I do best which is defending and rebounding. I got every big rebound and pretty much shutdown my man. I usually get to guard the other teams best player so it's really fun to see how their frustration manifests.

In this case, it ended up with me and the black guy being thrown outta the game. We were up by 8 (we were up by 15 earlier) and the other team was making a comeback. There was a key point in the 3rd quarter where the other team's main scorer put up a three and the black guy and I go up and come down with it. He fouls me as I dribble out and he goes all buck wild on the ref saying how I've been fouling him all game. He points at me and starts going off how I've been throwing "bows and grabbing the whole game. I just look at him and say, "I don't know what you are talking about man, but the only thing I know is that we both went up with the ball and you didn't come down with it." It was like that all game.

He then turns and says if I "throw another "bow" that I'm "going to get hurt."

I don't let anyone push me around so I got up in his face and told him that to "stop crying" and that I've been "out-balling him all game."

A couple of more comments were exchanged and the ref blows his whistle and points and him and me and throws us out of the game for the rest of the 3rd quarter. It was awesome.

I haven't had a rush like that in ages. Just the raw emotion coming out and having that release that is only allowed in a competitive setting like sports is just incredible. Outbursts like that are just not allowed in the workplace, home or social setting. It isn't appropiate. Technically, it isn't in sports as well but we all know better. Just like in life, you have to fight for your position or the other team is just going to walk all over you. At that point of the game, the other team was making a run. If I allowed him to get the mental edge on me, we might have lost.

The bottomline was that the result was the other team's best player was taken out of the game for the quarter and never was the same again.

All my friends were talking about it post game. They've never seen that side of me before. Cliff, Kristy, Christine, Sam, Alex, Joyce, Big Shane, Iris, Cynthia and everyone else who knew me looked at me differently. It's amazing how much respect you get when you show a little passion. I guess it's becoming more and more rare now a days in this politically correct, keep your emotions in check, let's compromise on everything world.

It's been 2 weeks after the game now and I'm still buzzing on it. I know it won't last forever so that's why I'm writing about it. Ya gotta save what brings you life because as we all know, we are not always alive.

Oh and if you are wondering. My final stats: 14 points, 13 rebounds, 4 assists... and 1 ejection